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Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Fred Wilpon understands the New York media as well as we thought he did
"I said (to Omar Minaya) 'When are you going to do this?' He said 'After the game (Mets-Angels, June 16).' I wasn't smart enough to say, 'And cut the New York press out of it?' I didn't even think of it," Wilpon said. "I screwed up."
That's great, Fred, no need to "even think of" the press. They're pretty timid and respectful here in New York anyway.
Geez.
Britta always told me her agency wouldn't be a good fit for me...
Britta: one for the intern annals
me: oh no
you have an intern? poor thing
Britta: he bought a crepe maker and a case of nutella
and is currently in the kitchen making crepes for the entire agency
me: what?
why?
Britta: "its my last day, just wanted to thank the office"
like, words i cannot summon
he was also the one who has worn a suit every day
[...]
Britta: jesus christ
not only is it crepe intern day
there are two white purebred pigeons in the office
me: what?
Britta: there are two albino pigeons
in [agency redacted]
right now
flying around
me: oh no
you have an intern? poor thing
Britta: he bought a crepe maker and a case of nutella
and is currently in the kitchen making crepes for the entire agency
me: what?
why?
Britta: "its my last day, just wanted to thank the office"
like, words i cannot summon
he was also the one who has worn a suit every day
[...]
Britta: jesus christ
not only is it crepe intern day
there are two white purebred pigeons in the office
me: what?
Britta: there are two albino pigeons
in [agency redacted]
right now
flying around
I didn't care about global warming before
And I'm not sure efforts like this are going to change my mind.(Via BWE)
I'm pretty sure all that bling is a choking hazard...
I don't really think Gangsta Babies require much comment... do you? So sad that Jerry Manuel would find these dolls more gangsta than me.(Via Andy)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Mazel Tov, Paul!
Paul climbed Kilimanjaro and took a picture at the summit naked covered by a Williams banner. (I'd link, but I'll let you all go check it out on your own. I don't want to be responsible for crashing Facebook).
Anyway, in honor of his achievement, I give to him (and the rest of you): Jewish Girls in Bikinis.
With the help of five Israeli models and one of their Jewish-American counterparts, self-consciously quirky Heeb magazine has released a calendar for the Jewish year 5769 - in a pull-out photo spread tastefully titled "The Ladies of '69.
It's really a matter of which you think is more important...
Today we learn that:
- Economists think a McCain presidency is better for stocks
- But an Obama presidency is better for t-shirt sales
Maybe McCain should launch a "better economy, more topless people" campaign.
Just a thought...
But is there ever really a bad time for s'mores???
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
(Via Mike via QDB)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
No man wants to be a "gastrosexual"
Gastrosexual is the new term "cooked" up (ha!) for men who cook to seduce women.
Men who cook = sexy
Men who call themselves "gastrosexuals" = lonely
Many women now believe men are actually better cooks than them. According to the research a fifth of women say their partner is a better cook than them. This rises to a quarter in women under the age of 34.
Interestingly the findings indicate men's new found enthusiasm for the kitchen does not mean they are interested in other household chores.
(Via NYMag Daily Intelligencer)
New facebook: great for advertisers, yucky for the rest of us, probably the same for pedophiles and stalkers
You can check out the redesigned facebook here.
I'm not a fan, but the advertising space greatly increases.
I just think it's confusing... why would anyone want their wall and their newsfeed combined?
I'm not a fan, but the advertising space greatly increases.
I just think it's confusing... why would anyone want their wall and their newsfeed combined?
Clever new viral McCain campaign
John McCain's site is letting you vote on your favorite media love song to Obama. This one was winning 84/16 when I checked:
Sadly, the two videos use the same media clips (all of which are reminders to throw up a little bit), but still, good use of Web 2.0 by the GOP!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Hamlet 2 = New movie I can't wait to see
Amy Poehler? The Gay Men's Chorus of Tucson? A musical number called "Rock Me Sexy Jesus?"
Count me IN!!!
"I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff."
Watch the first minute for some incredible insights into 20-year old voters today:
You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?
Yeah, honestly, I was never a Hillary fan, but this makes no sense -- first of all, the "emotional" card is pretty patronizing to pull out and second of all, no woman experiences menopause and PMS simultaneously.
But whatevs, let's just all thank the state of Florida for helping this loser graduate high school.
Great moments in irony
Big Mac Chant
15 years ago, this dude was arrested for robbing a McDonald's. Today he's a finalist in their jingle contest.
(Via Lydia via TechCrunch)
15 years ago, this dude was arrested for robbing a McDonald's. Today he's a finalist in their jingle contest.
(Via Lydia via TechCrunch)
Cooking with boys
Ellie: that sexy spoon thing made me so hungry
but if i leave the library i have to pack up my computer
me: it made me want a boy to kiss me in a kitchen while holding flat leaf parsley
Ellie: i find cooking with boys highly problematic
because they just get in the way
and don't know how to do anything
it's not even remotely romantic
me: maybe you're not good at giving tasks
Ellie: please i'm a teacher
i delegate like a pro
and if [redacted] weren't retarded maybe he'd be easier to cook wth
but if i'm like "here [redacted] cut up this pepper"
he somehow ends up cutting his finger, bleeding all over the pepper, and then dropping it down the garbage disposal while attempting to rinse it off
so then i have to tell him to sit down and watch TV
but if i leave the library i have to pack up my computer
me: it made me want a boy to kiss me in a kitchen while holding flat leaf parsley
Ellie: i find cooking with boys highly problematic
because they just get in the way
and don't know how to do anything
it's not even remotely romantic
me: maybe you're not good at giving tasks
Ellie: please i'm a teacher
i delegate like a pro
and if [redacted] weren't retarded maybe he'd be easier to cook wth
but if i'm like "here [redacted] cut up this pepper"
he somehow ends up cutting his finger, bleeding all over the pepper, and then dropping it down the garbage disposal while attempting to rinse it off
so then i have to tell him to sit down and watch TV
Apparently, my mom gets down...
On my birthday party pictures:
We're down with them!
You look sizzlin' Mistletoe.
Thanks so much!!
xxoo, M.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
I fell in love with Metallica 15 years ago too when my brothers received the Metallica CD/VHS fan truck
Brother Cesare, a.k.a Brother Metal, is a 62-year old monk and the lead singer in a heavy metal band:
(Via Jesse)
Brother Cesare says he has never had any trouble with his superiors over his choice of musical career and would like to send his new album to the Pope. "He is a music lover and metal is music!" he says.
(Via Jesse)
Birthday Party Countdown!!!
Tomorrow, I'm spending the night with a KNIGHT!!!
In fact, NJ Transit will be our mode*
Of transportation to Medieval Times
You should venture from your urban abode
If only to reward us for these rhymes
A Sonnet to Celebrate Karen’s 25th Birthday
(By Barbara, Ellie, and Karen)
In fair New Jersey where we lay our scene
Our lovely maiden’s turning twenty-five
On this most blessed day July 19
So join us for a drunk New Jersey drive
(By Barbara, Ellie, and Karen)
In fair New Jersey where we lay our scene
Our lovely maiden’s turning twenty-five
On this most blessed day July 19
So join us for a drunk New Jersey drive
In fact, NJ Transit will be our mode*
Of transportation to Medieval Times
You should venture from your urban abode
If only to reward us for these rhymes
Prepare to be amazed by jousts and knights
And feast upon the fare of days gone by
So grab a crown, your lute, and favorite tights
But email Karen first with your reply
And feast upon the fare of days gone by
So grab a crown, your lute, and favorite tights
But email Karen first with your reply
Below you’ll find details for this fine fête
Which will be full of times you won’t forget
Which will be full of times you won’t forget
*Even for the sake of maintaining iambic pentameter, we are not advocating drinking and driving
I just don't get how America keeps getting fatter and the clothes keep getting baggier...
Police officers can now arrest anyone in Flint that wears sagging pants, slapping them with up to a $500 fine and a year in jail! They have also declared that the style gives probable cause for an officer to search you.
No worries, baggy pants wearers of Flint, Michigan: the ACLU says this is racist and illegal. I say it's silly.
But still, men, please wear pants that fit.
A-rod's new PR strategy
"If it's true Madonna has sampled Alex's charms, then she'll know what I mean when I say she's a lucky lady," Candice Houlihan told the London newspaper.
"And if not, then I can tell her he is the most amazing lover she'll ever have and she should give it a whirl."
Wonder if he made Scott Boras write this script.
A completely different kind of pot brownies
Police found thousands of marijuana plants being grown in a remote part of a Girl Scout camp, according to court documents and a scout official.
This didn't happen at my camp... the closest anyone got to getting high at Camp Sunset Hill was from all the craft glue.
Well, I should just give up now
Last night I said I wanted to do my own version of this. But, Andy sent this to me, and I don't think it can, realistically, be topped.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Word du jour: Grawlix
Grawlix is the term for the string of characters used to indicate cursing, you mother f@!$ers!
(Via HF&J)
Tunak Tunak Tun
Ellie found this for me. And it's AMAZING and I'm going to learn the dance and then clone myself and make my own copycat video.
Things I Love: Cheeseburgers
I love a really good cheeseburger (medium rare, NO lettuce).
Alan Richman pulled his top five and, I agree on three and haven't tried the other two... looks like a trip to Big Nick's and Peter Luger is in my future. Anyway here they are in no particular order:
UWS/Brooklyn for a burger, anyone?
Alan Richman pulled his top five and, I agree on three and haven't tried the other two... looks like a trip to Big Nick's and Peter Luger is in my future. Anyway here they are in no particular order:
1. Shake Shack
2. Big Nick's
3. Blue Smoke (seriously, my absolute favorite burger in the city... and sweet potato fries!)
4. Burger Joint (thank you, Evan, for introducing me)
5. Peter Luger
UWS/Brooklyn for a burger, anyone?
How Tories see the world
Click to enlarge and view all titles. I particularly enjoyed the islands in the lower right quadrant, known, to those familiar with them, as Indonesia.
(Via Mike who was familiar with Indonesia)
(Via Mike who was familiar with Indonesia)
"The Umbuster has been classified a Class 5 weapon by good and upright men and women of the Victorian Police."
To have and to hold this accessory requires a weapons licence and, or gun licence.
It's not available yet, but when I get one... WATCH OUT!
Pretty slick!
Frankly, I've felt like the Hip Hop routines having been lacking a bit this season. Until tonight:
Comfort and Twitch were "buck" according to Lil' C. I still don't know what "buck" means, but this routine was the best hip hop on SYTYCD in ages.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Yo, Shorty
Mental Floss has a list of 10 Famous (Non-Midget/Dwarf) Little People:
1. James Madison, 5′4″ (Shortest President ever. He only weighed about 100 pounds.)
2. Charlotte Bronte – 4′9″
3. Charlie Manson – 5′2″ (Who knew such a little guy could be so terrifying?)
4. Danny DeVito – 5′0″
5. John Keats – 5′ and ¾ an inch
6. Edith Piaf – 4′8″
7. St. Francis of Assisi – 5′1″
8. Pablo Picasso – 5′4″
9. Alexander Pope – 4′6″ (Pope had tuberculosis which stunted his growth.)
10. Martin Scorsese – 5′3″ or 5′4″ (Sources vary.)
A.K.A. 10 People Whose Size Creeps Me Out
Don't bring a knife to a toothed fish fight, Jesse!
Jesse details the background here, but not very long story short... you can't defend yourself against walking fish OR my kickass YouTube skills
Jesse and I agreed, the dramatic music really added to the whole creepy effect.
We live in an incredible country
Heidi Montag from The Hills and Meghan McCain (John's daughter) had lunch together.(Via Married Brother)
Ellie and Daniela are on blog (and best friend) probation
Last night Ellie and Daniela called me out for only posting blog conversations where I'm the funny one.
1) It's MY blog
2) I AM the funny one
3) I need new friends who don't say things like "Every conversation is the same: Ellie says 'hi,' Karen says something hysterically funny, Ellie says 'ha!'"
Applications for new non-Chinese BFFs are being accepted.
1) It's MY blog
2) I AM the funny one
3) I need new friends who don't say things like "Every conversation is the same: Ellie says 'hi,' Karen says something hysterically funny, Ellie says 'ha!'"
Applications for new non-Chinese BFFs are being accepted.
Denver Democrats embarrassed by homeless people
The DNC wants to hide all the homeless people during the convention by sending them to the movies and the zoo.
That's because it is, Kayne.
But I'll be honest, sending homeless people to the zoo where tigers have better shelter and more food seems a little cruel. Maybe that's just me?
"It just sounds like another way to get rid of them," said Kayne Coy, 17, who volunteers feeding the homeless twice a week at Civic Center Park through the Food Not Bombs organization.
That's because it is, Kayne.
But I'll be honest, sending homeless people to the zoo where tigers have better shelter and more food seems a little cruel. Maybe that's just me?
Derek Jeter AND David Wright are both more popular than A-Rod
So no one went to A-Rod's party on Monday night.
But Jeter's party had Billy Crystal, Michael Jordan, and Derek's new girlfriend, Minka Kelly from Friday Night Lights.
Not only that, but A-Rod's own teammate, Joba, went to David Wright's party (that also featured Gossip Girl castmember appearances).
But Jeter's party had Billy Crystal, Michael Jordan, and Derek's new girlfriend, Minka Kelly from Friday Night Lights.
Not only that, but A-Rod's own teammate, Joba, went to David Wright's party (that also featured Gossip Girl castmember appearances).
I think if I read this book, I'll probably have to stop going to baseball games
Some 300 people a year are hospitalized after being hit by foul balls at major and minor league games, according to a study by Robert M. Gorman and David Weeks for their upcoming book, “Death at the Ballpark.”
I wonder how many people die from being scared to death by the freaky mascots?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
My milkshake brings all the oil to the yard...
Mental Floss told me six things I didn't know about oil, including:
The oil used on screen in There Will Be Blood was actually created using the same industrial material used by McDonald’s to thicken their milkshakes. “And I’m not kidding. That’s actually true,” said cinematographer Robert Elswit on CNN’s Oscar Blog.
NASTY.
Democratic National Convention to be attended by celebs
So the DNC loves to wheel out all of the beautiful people who love them. And fortunately for the rest of us, more time with Scarlett Johansson on camera means less time hearing about Obama's really concrete plans for healing our nation.
I also think it's great that the Democrats are proving to the party of unification early. Only Obama could bring together the Coors Brewing Company and Anheurser-Busch as corporate sponsors from the same vertical.
They have announced that Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, and N.E.R.D. will perform music shows. Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines and Edward Norton Jr. have promised to smile for the cameras. Corporate sponsors include United Airlines, Google, Coors Brewing Company, Anheuser-Busch, Xcel Energy, Motorola, Qwest, and AT&T.
I also think it's great that the Democrats are proving to the party of unification early. Only Obama could bring together the Coors Brewing Company and Anheurser-Busch as corporate sponsors from the same vertical.
There'll be some love making, heart breaking, soul shaking...
iPod Shuffle's giving me some En Vogue that I can feel
Little people, falcons, and homeless people...
me: i forget how small you are
be sure to wear heels on saturday
Daniela: oh please
heels to Medieval Times? no way
what if i get called out to participate in the joust?
i can't do that in heels
me: OMG
what if i get called on to participate in falconry
Daniela: it will be hilarious
do you have a big thick glove
you should bring that
so the falcon can land on your hand
me: no, but i could steal one from a homeless person at the port authority
except hobo gloves often are missing fingers
that's the mark of a hobo
Daniela: karen, sometimes they don't even have shoes!
me: homeless people?
well, i don't want homeless shoes!
Daniela: i don't think their first order of business is falconry paraphernalia
me: if i were giving clothes to a homeless person, i'd be more inclined to give them falconry gloves than say... a lace corset
Daniela: fair enough
although maybe a lace corset wouldn't be a bad thing for a homeless person
they're fashionable these days... and can be worn in day and into night!
versatility! isn't that what homeless people need?
me: i think they need homes
Daniela: pshaw
remember what i told you about homeless people?
me: they're all fun & games until you watch one of them get head outside of the 23rd street subway entrance?
Daniela: that very very few of them (less than 5%) actually are without homes all the time
me: oh
your stat is probably more relevant
Daniela: karen, i swear, you are on some fucking homeless person radar - they only do crazy shit when you're around
be sure to wear heels on saturday
Daniela: oh please
heels to Medieval Times? no way
what if i get called out to participate in the joust?
i can't do that in heels
me: OMG
what if i get called on to participate in falconry
Daniela: it will be hilarious
do you have a big thick glove
you should bring that
so the falcon can land on your hand
me: no, but i could steal one from a homeless person at the port authority
except hobo gloves often are missing fingers
that's the mark of a hobo
Daniela: karen, sometimes they don't even have shoes!
me: homeless people?
well, i don't want homeless shoes!
Daniela: i don't think their first order of business is falconry paraphernalia
me: if i were giving clothes to a homeless person, i'd be more inclined to give them falconry gloves than say... a lace corset
Daniela: fair enough
although maybe a lace corset wouldn't be a bad thing for a homeless person
they're fashionable these days... and can be worn in day and into night!
versatility! isn't that what homeless people need?
me: i think they need homes
Daniela: pshaw
remember what i told you about homeless people?
me: they're all fun & games until you watch one of them get head outside of the 23rd street subway entrance?
Daniela: that very very few of them (less than 5%) actually are without homes all the time
me: oh
your stat is probably more relevant
Daniela: karen, i swear, you are on some fucking homeless person radar - they only do crazy shit when you're around
Best Week Ever asks, I answer
What is the worst song on your iPod?
My top 5 worst are:
- Captain and Tenille, "Love Will Keep Us Together"
- Rando Christian Group, "Shine, Jesus, Shine"
- Luther Vandross, "One Shining Moment" (Best part of March Madness IMO)
- Mase, "Welcome Back" (Seriously one of the worst songs ever)
- Tracy Byrd, "Drinkin' Bone"
Not familiar with "Drinkin' Bone?" It's bad, really, really bad. And I LOVE it.
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